I’m Not Sure What’s Worse, Lockdown Or This New Reality
Uncertainty reigns in this bold new world
Photo by Andy Brazil on Unsplash
In Catholicism, purgatory refers to an intermediate state after death where you are in neither heaven nor hell. The implication is that the person has not been good or bad enough to warrant an immediate place in either.
Therefore, their lives must be weighed up by angels and demons to determine in which place they will spend eternity. The idea of purgatory is an uncomfortable one if you’re a follower of the Catholic faith.
Knowing that you may be placed in this state after death should spur you to lead a decent life, but none of us is perfect. The thought of your entire life being weighed up in front of you, powerless to intervene is a terrifying prospect.
At first glance, the coronavirus pandemic doesn’t offer much of a comparison with purgatory. Yet, that is exactly where I feel like I am right now.
I’ve gone from not being overly concerned about the virus in January and February to more concerned in March and then relieved at the imposition of a full lockdown at the end of that month. Living in the UK, it was unclear whether lockdown was going to happen at one point.
Lockdown brought a sense of certainty. I knew where I stood. We were not supposed to venture out of the house, avoid contact with other people and only go to the shops when we needed.
Sure, the lockdown began to drag as the months went on, but while many hundreds of people were dying every day, it was necessary. When the time came to release some of the restrictions, it was somewhat of a relief, even if I was concerned the virus may come back.
Writing this in August, the world of lockdown feels a lifetime away. Things are more or less back to normal. The streets are full of people again, cars fill the roads and overseas travel has resumed.
However, everything isn’t back to normal. It’s all an illusion. The virus is still there, it hasn’t gone away. Without a vaccine, there is no way to end all the measures that are still in place.
In this sense, what we are experiencing now is a form of purgatory. We are neither in full-on lockdown nor have we completely returned to normality. We are existing in a state somewhere in between the two.
Uncertainty rages about whether the virus will come back, what happens if it does and how the remainder of the year is going to look. While it’s nice to have some of the freedoms I’m accustomed to back, it’s hard to adjust to this reality.
This may sound like I’m speaking from a position of privilege but I’m not sure which is worse, lockdown or this form of purgatory. Things were clear with lockdown, now it feels like people are trying to convince themselves that things are back to normal and the worst is over.
It’s hard to see things that way, especially with winter around the corner, when influenza presents a double-barrelled challenge for health authorities.
The truth is, nothing is going ‘back to normal’ until there is a vaccine and things may never return to what we knew before. The world has been changed due to this virus.
Many industries and businesses will collapse, while the depression as a result of the lockdowns, which were necessary to avoid a devastating human toll, will wreak a financial one for years to come.
Right now, that world feels far away, as does the world we previously inhabited. It feels like we're stuck in the departure lounge waiting for our delayed flight to be rescheduled with no indication of when that might be.
Maybe that’s what the problem is, the waiting. The feeling of helplessness as we are held hostage by a virus we cannot see.
It’s said that those who are stuck in purgatory undergo a process of purification so they can achieve the necessary holiness to be let into heaven. A holding pattern while their flaws are ironed out.
Our world is still being ravaged by Coronavirus, a cure is tantalisingly close but far away. Purgatory is where we’re at. Governments around the world are straining to keep the virus under control and return to normality.
We may not be undergoing purification but we are stuck in a holding pattern for an indeterminate time. An existence fraught with danger, uncertainty and the remnants of an increasingly distant world.
How long it goes on for is determined by our actions and those of the scientists racing to create a vaccine. Amidst all the uncertainty one thing is clear, normal isn’t coming back anytime soon!
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